Funny Long Trip Stories – Part One

Badlands National Park
Photo by Gary Yost on Unsplash

Humans thrive on our stories, and those of us brave souls that love long road trips do have stories to tell!  These stories have a habit of lasting for years, and they seem to get more interesting with time.

Little Disasters Make the Funniest Stories

When they happen little disasters really seem like major disasters.  You are sometimes scared, often miserable, and usually beyond frustrated.  But you know what?  With time these little disasters often become really funny stories!  They get better and better with time even if they sometimes get a little exaggerated with each telling.

Little disasters might include things like getting lost and driving the wrong direction for two hours, or leaving something valuable at a hotel.  Maybe you buy a fancy new piece of equipment and then forget and leave it home.  Maybe you’ve taken hundreds of pictures and then accidently erased the memory card!

While we have experienced all of these little disasters I’ll pick a few that became good stories.  We’ll call them “Knocked Flat,”, “Knocked Flat Again,” and “Scorpions at Moab.”

Knocked Flat

Let me set the scene for this first story.  My wife and I had been married a short time.  I had done several camping road trips with my family.  My wife had very limited camping experience.  For the first time my job allowed me three week’s vacation and on a whim I got the idea of a cross country road trip.  Surprisingly my wife agreed.

We had very little money so camping would be a must.  We purchased the minimum of equipment including a flat sided umbrella tent (a square box, this became important later.)  We did at least have a fairly new car we had purchased recently with payments we couldn’t really afford.  So we packed up three weeks worth of food and snacks, and left our New Jersey apartment and headed west.  We took along all our money, which consisted of a few hundred dollars cash and a couple hundred in travelers checks.  No credit cards back then for us, and young people may have to look up what a travelers check is!

The first few nights were uneventful.  We stayed at campgrounds in Indiana and Iowa.  We were so exhausted after driving 12 hours we barely could set up the tent, eat some canned food, and collapse into our sleeping bags.  By the middle of the third day we reached our first real destination of Badlands National Park in South Dakota.

Badlands National Park is still one of my favorite destinations.  Imagine a barren rugged landscape eroded into otherworldly shapes over thousands of years.  Great fun scampering over the crazy landscapes and exploring the trails.

We stayed at the KOA campground in Interior, SD, just outside the park boundary.  We set up camp right along the river with the car parked under a big tree about 50 feet from our tent.  Overall it was a perfect setting.  More canned food for dinner, and we were tired but more relaxed because we were finally somewhere where we planned on staying a couple days.

We were tired from our very busy day and fell asleep quickly in our big roomy umbrella tent.  Around 1:00AM my wife woke me concerned about an approaching thunderstorm.  I assured her I had camped through lots of thunderstorms and that we should just go back to sleep.  I carefully closed and zippered all the tent flaps to protect from the expected rain.

A few minutes later all hell broke loose!  A huge gust of wind came from nowhere and brought the tent down on top of us.  Howling wind and pounding rain were mixed with screams all around the campground.  We were all tangled up in the tent that I had just fastened up so securely!  When I finally found the door and managed to undo the double zipper I was greeted with what seemed like pure white light from the continuous lightning!

We dashed in our gym shorts to the car though wind, downpouring rain and 1 inch hail.  The hail felt like rocks hitting us.  Our perfect sandy campsite turned to pure mud and by the time we got to the car we were soaked and covered in mud.

Right about that time I realized all the money we had in the world was still in my pants pocket in the ten!.  And the last time I saw the tent it was blowing in the wind wrapped around a tree.  So out of the safety of the car I went.  I did retrieve the money but at the price of multiple hailstone strikes.  Back in the car we took stock.  My head was bleeding from a hail stone strike and we both had welts from other strikes in the short dash to the car.  We slept in the front seats of our Ford Tempo that night as the rain continued but the wind and hail subsided.

We woke at 6:00 AM to a beautiful sunny day as often happens after storms.  I was afraid my wife would want to make a beeline for home, but she never even considered it.  It was time to take stock and assess the damage.  Everything was wet but a couple hours with the campground laundry’s dryer fixed that.  The tent looked terrible but as we untangled it we found nothing was broken, just muddy and wet, so we cleaned it up and set it back up so it could dry.  

Personally we were fine.  Just some big black and blue spots from the hail. The car even fared better than I expected.  It had a couple hail dents but had been protected from worse because it was parked under a big tree.

By 10:30AM we were back hiking, and climbing the Wall, a well known destination in the Badlands.  More importantly we had a story that we have repeated many times in the decades since!

Stay tuned for “Knocked Flat Again,” and “Scorpions at Moab” in future posts!

More Things to Do When You Are Bored

Bored Guy
Photo by Ekoate Nwaforlor on Unsplash

I enjoyed brainstorming my first “Things to Do When you are bored” list.  So, I decided to try it again and see what I could come up with.  Here we go.

Make Something Different to Eat

The variety of recipes out there is almost infinite.  Give something new a try.

Clean out the Refrigerator

You know it needs it!  Those little spills have a way of adding up and lasting forever.

Start a Collection

You probably have things laying around that you have thought about collecting.  Why not make it official and start a new hobby and see if it sticks.

Take An Inventory of Household Possessions

This is important for insurance reasons.  Even videos from your phone are helpful if stored in a safe place.

Fix Something That’s Broken

You know that broken something that is tucked away somewhere?  Why not grab some glue or whatever is needed and fix it?  Or if it is not fixable throw it out and clear up some space.

Use That Exercise Equipment That’s Gathering Dust

You know you should.  It is so good for you.

Play a Board Game

They are really fun.  Get away from the computer and give them a try.  You probably used to love board games and you can again!

Build a Card Castle

Most people have some old decks of cards laying around.  Build a card castle with them and let the kids or grandkids be amazed!

Set Up Dominos

See how big of a snake you can make and then have fun knocking them down.  Again, kids will love it.

Frame a Poster You Have Sitting Around

Most of us have an art poster or souvenir poster laying around still rolled up in a tube.  Find a way to hang them and add some color to your living areas.

Dig Up Something in the Basement or Closet and Use It.

If the something has been sitting there long enough it will be almost as fun as buying something new!

Build Something

Build something new, be it a stool, bookcase, or something bigger.  Use a kit or build from scratch depending on your ability.

Take a Photo of Something

Justify that expensive phone or digital camera and take some pictures.  If the photos are of people you’ll be glad you did years later.  Or just snap some photos in your backyard or around the neighborhood.

Count Your Penny Jar

Many of us save pennies in a big jar or can.  Aren’t you curious how much is in there?

Open a Savings Account for Something Special

Do it today, and make it separate from your “regular” savings account.  Designate it for a special vacation, dream car or whatever you like.

Buy One Dividend Stock

Some online services allow you to buy stocks for very small amounts of money.  Learn about dividend stocks and buy a share or two.  You’ll learn about passive income in the process.

Plant a Tree

Planting a tree is probably one of the best things you can do for our long-term environment.  Bonus if a child helps you.

Dig Up Space for a Small Garden or Prepare a Container Garden

You can do a regular garden or even a container garden in the city.  When the weather is right plant something and watch it grow.  Gardening has all kinds of benefits.

Find Some Websites Related to Your Hobby or Interest

Dig into your hobby and bookmark some useful websites.  Then visit them regularly to see what is new.

Update Your Resume

Everyone should do this at least once a year.  Bonus if you actually post it somewhere and see what happens.

Find a Useful New App for Your Computer or Phone

There are thousands of free and low-cost apps out there.  Find one that is actually useful to you.

Organize Your Bills and Receipts

I’m talking about the paper version that have a way of laying around all over.  Organize in folders or toss as is appropriate.

Dust Something

Nobody has enough time to dust as much as they would like.  So, if you’re really bored, take advantage of the time!

Learn to Sew on a Button

Everyone should learn how to sew on a button (I don’t but should!).  You never know when you will need the skill.

Send a Letter or Postcard to Someone

Skip Email and send a paper letter or postcard to someone.  It will be a pleasant surprise.

So, there is part two of my “What to do when bored” list.  Why not do your own part three and keep it somewhere for when you need it!

Great Retirement Quotes

Chairs overlooking beach
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Every once in a while we hear a meaningful or funny retirement quote.  I dug around online and below, and in no particular order, are some I found interesting.

Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different. Patrick Foley

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 o’clock in the morning and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.” — Unknown

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. Robert Benchley

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” — Jonathan Clements

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. George Burns

“Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.” –Gene Perret

I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. Steve Young

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers

I need to retire from retirement. Sandra Day O’Connor

You have to put off being young until you can retire. Unknown

If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough. Oprah Winfrey

The real measure of your wealth is how much you’d be worth if you lost all your money. Anonymous

There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” –Bill Waterson

I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left. Voltaire

Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.” –Unknown

Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses. Cato

Retirement is not the end of the road. It is the beginning of the open highway. Unknown

Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to. Susan Cain

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Author Unknown

Don’t think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark. Samuel Johnson

A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job. Ella Harris

It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney

Often when you are at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers

“I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.” –Gene Perret

There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.” — Robert Half

“Retirement: World’s longest coffee break.” — Unknown

Need more quotes?  Find lots of inspirational and funny quotes online!